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Rudd steps up leadership pressure with laxative campaign

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Circus Animal:
In a move believed to be prompted by the events of last week’s ALP Conference, former prime minister Kevin Rudd has initiated a new push for a return to the Lodge by fronting an advertising campaign promoting the laxative Megalax. The 23-second TV ad features the Foreign Minister explaining the benefits of the drug. “Hello, I’m Kevin Rudd,” Mr Rudd begins. “I used to be the Prime Minister, but I was dumped after everyone realised I was full of shit. But since I started taking Megalax, I haven’t been full of shit at all. In fact, thanks to Megalax, I’ve been shitting all over Julia Gillard in the polls. Megalax is made from natural ingredients, and is so easy to use that even Wayne Swan couldn’t fuck it up. So if you’re as full of shit as I was, try Megalax today”.

Mr Rudd denied that the campaign was intended to put pressure on Ms Gillard’s leadership. While the former PM declared Ms Gillard’s coup against him to be “the greatest immoral leadership challenge of our time”, he said he had no ambition to get his old job back. “I’m a very happy little Vegemite being Grand Overlord of the Universe... um, being Foreign Minister of Australia. I like being Foreign Minister as much as I like Aeroplane Jelly,” Mr Rudd said, adding “The burgers are better at Hungry Jacks”.

Opposition leader Tony Abbott said that Mr Rudd’s antics were unsurprising, and symptomatic of Labor’s failure to govern competently. “While the Foreign Minister’s claims that Megalax cured his constipation may or may not be true, the real question that must be asked is: how will this product stop the boats?” Mr Abbott said.

Drainster:
Love it. Although Rudd is still full of shit so not a good advert for megalax.

Wolfe Tone:
Love it! Though I'm not sure that you need my opinion to validate you...

Mez:
Haha, CA, well done.

hammer:
Asian Exports aren't really helping to stop the boats, or the shits - does this help your survey you fuckwit?

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