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Adelaide innings loss “a little bit disappointing”: Ponting

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Circus Animal:
Ricky Ponting has defended his team’s inept performance in the Adelaide test match, claiming yesterday that the side ‘played five days of excellent cricket’ and that ‘the result could easily have gone the other way’. Observers unanimously branded the comments “bullshit”. Ponting later clarified his statement, saying that he expected the team’s results to improve in the near future. “The way we’re going, it won’t be long before I’m sacked as captain, and our performance will certainly get better once that happens”.

The Australian captain also discussed Simon Katich's heel injury and said he expected NSW opener Phillip Hughes to play in Melbourne. “Phillip hasn’t taken any wickets recently, so he’d fit right in with the rest of the team,” Ponting said. England captain Andrew Strauss warned Australia against picking Hughes, saying that England had studied his technique and had a plan for dismissing him. The plan is believed to involve picking the ball up off the turf and claiming a catch.

The story of the day, however, was not the on-field action but an altercation between former players Ian Chappell and Ian Botham in the carpark after the game. The long-running feud between the pair exploded into physical violence when Chappell told noted monarchist Botham “I fucked your Queen last night”. The exchange quickly became heated despite bystanders attempting to defuse the situation. Punches were thrown and the incident appeared to be getting completely out of hand until Richie Benaud appeared on the scene and physically separated the two.

Chappell later played down the incident. “Back in my day, that would have been considered a friendly chat,” the former Australian captain said. “I was just explaining to him a few basic truths. He needs to learn that I’m always right and that he should get on with doing what he does best, which is whinging”. Chappell spent the next ten minutes denigrating the former English allrounder, before going on to also criticise Steve Waugh, Sir Donald Bradman, Marlon Brando and Santa Claus. He then engaged in a passionate rant about the declining standard of architecture in Mildura and finished with a long and pointless anecdote about a Shield match he played in 1968. Botham declined to comment on the altercation with Chappell as he was in a hurry to get to the pub.

In a new development this afternoon, media outlets were contacted by former Australian batsman Neil Harvey demanding to know why he was yet to be asked for his opinion on the incident.

kim:
the perth test is next, not melbourne's :) other than that, i enjoyed reading this.

Lord Biscuit©:
There was a cricket  test in Adelaide? I seem to have forgotten all about it already!

If Tony Greig had done his normal Adelaide job - you know, denigrating comments about Asian brides - nobody would remember much about the test at all.

Pinball Neil:
I think the Asian brides comment was at North Sydney Oval, but whatever...

Emperor Fadeaway:
You think wrong.

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