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[Drainster]

FOREIGN Minister Kevin Rudd has pulled out of this week's APEC ministerial meeting in Japan because of  severe stabbing pain in his back.  Little is known about the about the illness however the pain is said to be exacerbated when he is in close proximity to the Australian Prime Minister.

Rudd has apparently seen several doctors about the problem including a doctor currently on trial for removing a clitoris.  When asked about meeting the clitoris removing doctor Rudd said, “If he can remove a clitoris I am sure he can remove the cu%t that stole my job.”

Julia Gillard had no comment on Rudd’s illness other than to say that she wishes the foreign minister well and hopes he has a speedy recovery without the need for a bi-election.  Wayne Swan also wished Kevin Rudd well and said he hoped the condition didn’t cause any leaks.  He didn’t elaborate on what type of leaks he was talking about.

In related news the stabbing pain that has stopped  Rudd attending APEC did not stop him from brown nosing Hilary Clinton during her recent visit to Australia.