As Australia is heading towards a hung parliament, the three independents are putting forward their demands to the major parties.
Firstly Bob Katter is primarily concerned about donkeys that have small penises. “These donkeys have no place in Australian society”. says Katter, however he would not elaborate on his fetish for donkey penises. There is speculation there might be some cross breeding between species.
Other things that have been put forward by the trio are the banning of bananas that bend to the left, women that have one breast larger than the other and any political parties suggesting sensible policies.
Katter is in favour of broadband as he has always liked thick elastic bands which are good at holding things together. He also likes the coalition wireless broadband policy as it means he can listen to the radio and the batteries won’t fall out. A view also held by many of the technical savy members of the coalition.
The three independents are considering collectively forming a new political party. Suggested names include, The missing gene party and the inbred party. The party is also heavily in favour of the increased mental illness funding proposed by both parties. This is welcome support as Australia is expected to have a surge of people with suicidal thoughts.
In late news, Tony Abbott has agreed to submit policy costings to treasury to pass on to the independents. Apparently he is not too worried about Katter seeing the trillion dollar short fall because Katter can only count to 11 on his fingers anyhow.
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