The Australian Department of Defence is tonight facing severe criticism over revelations that thousands of dollars have been spent on items with little or no relevance to national defence. Among the items purchased were canvass oil paintings, a set of Italian leather lounges, a twelve foot pool table, an ostrich farm in Singleton and 146 garden gnomes. Despite the dubious nature of the transactions, the standard Australian Defence practice of buying obsolete assets from the U.S. Army was followed in all cases.
In addition to the alleged uselessness of the purchases, the Department's accounting and administrative procedures have also been called into question after it emerged that many of the items purchased were referred to in official records as 'stuff'. This discovery may explain why such goods were bought in the first place, former defence minister Joel Fitzgibbon said. "In late 2007, I had a meeting with a representative from the Army who asked for an extra $3 million in funding. I told him to get stuffed. I guess he misheard me. Oh well".
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd today blasted Defence chiefs, saying he will be furious if it turns out that the military's budget has been abused. "They have no right to be using public money to buy luxury items like plasma TVs," the Prime Minister raged. "That's what the stimulus package was for. That stuff they bought had better have included some hair dryers". Mr Rudd then went on to apologise for the fiasco, acknowledging that he was solely at fault, and announcing that Defence Minister John Faulkner's responsibilities would be taken over by Climate Change Minister Penny Wong.
In a new twist to the episode, it was reported late this afternoon that the alleged funding abuses are only the latest in a long history of military largesse. According to reports, Defence Department purchases of useless equipment stretched all the way back to 1987, when $3.9 billion was spent on six Collins Class submarines.
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Topic: Defence under attack: outrage over irresponsible spending and lame headline puns (Read 309 times)