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Author Topic: Major Bank donates $1 million to Bushfire appeal and $2 million to the Media.  (Read 207 times)

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pete hill

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Major Bank donates $1 million to Bushfire appeal and $2 million to the Media.
« on: March 13, 2009, 07:45:16 PM »
 In a generous response to the desperate plight of the victims of Victoria's Black Saturday Bushfires, a Major Bank has donated $1 million to the Red Cross Appeal. They immediately followed this by an even larger donation to the Australia's major Media outlets to the tune of $2 million.
 CEO representative said that money going to the Red Cross will be go towards re-housing of victims and the repair and replacement of infra-structure and services that were lost in the fires. He said that the donation would be the bank's quiet modest & token contribution to easing the suffering of the victims of this terrible disaster.
 Meanwhile the $2 million donated to Australia's largest Media organisations will finance an advertisement campaign that will highlight and praise the bank's bushfire donations This would ensure that every single Australian would have no choice but to hear, see and read every itemized detail of that quiet, modest & token contribution.
 The media money was devoted to full-page ads in newspapers, prime-time TV commercials starring some bloke who used to be on 60 minutes and a 25 minute video presentation. The latter will be replayed on a loop on wide-screen TVs in every branch of the bank in the country ensuring further mental stress for over-stretched employees who are already dead inside. They are also presented by a once-hot young Aussie actor who has been out of work since 'Stingers' was axed so this should be the final nail in the coffin for his acting career.
 Of course, the CEO reminded journalists, all this publicity is an un-avoidable by-product of the vital donations to the Media Empires. "With the recent global financial downturn, it is more important now than ever to ensure that struggling Media Barons and Opinion Columnists maintain their liftestyles", he added.
 When queried by one reporter as to how the bank's share-holders viewed the generous donations, the CEO reassured everyone that the donations were tax-deductable and would be compensated for in the standard fashion by closing several branches in poorer, out-lying suburbs.
 
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