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Author Topic: Headlines  (Read 139147 times)

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TheBoogieMan

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Headlines
« on: September 25, 2004, 02:20:07 AM »
I thought itd be a good idea to have a thread for just plain old headlines
without the story, like the newsbar - so here we go:

~ Hilton realises error in naming daughter after hotel

~ ACCC to investigate itself after claims of consumer commission
monopoly

~ Downer expects to keep portfolio, fishnets

~ Howard declares Australian public memory overboard: no-one notices

~ Florida prepares for hurricane, vote-rigging

~ Unfunny Chaser headline lifted from The Onion

~ Interest rates drop as Howard declares all-time low in pubic apathy

~ Channel 9 defies Ptolomy, Copernicus: Declares Eddie centre of
universe

~ Crean and Costello relationship shock: Which one is the woman?
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unknownsoldier

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Headlines
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2004, 10:34:55 PM »
i loved the oniion one the best, actuallyu lauighed, but the others were alllright
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TheBoogieMan

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Headlines
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2004, 11:33:05 PM »
arg.

actually looking back at these i realise that it was fairly late in the
morning so what i found funny then actually isnt that great. anyway. ill
think up better ones and be back sometime.

anyway, the point of this thread wasnt actually a showpiece for me, i
meant everyone to use it for headlines only.
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kasty

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Headlines
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2004, 06:28:19 PM »
~ Mary-Kate Olsen to star in new Thins Comercial


~ Australian Idol Reject Finalist leaves with dignity

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bog_squater

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Headlines
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2004, 07:28:08 PM »
I like Kastys ones. Thins. lol
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TheBoogieMan

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Headlines
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2004, 11:01:56 PM »
~ Crean found loitering under ladder of opportunity

~ Ross Cameron aiming to become Minister for Domestic Affairs
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whophd

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« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2004, 12:31:56 AM »
~ "JOBS NOT GST" sticker still good for fifth election
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whophd

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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2004, 02:09:44 AM »
~ Gough Whitlam in revert war on Wikipedia entry about dismissal
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TheBoogieMan

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Headlines
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2004, 08:22:55 PM »
~ Andrew Bolt fired for objective journalism, goes quietly.
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Swood Corporations

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Headlines
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2004, 02:55:15 AM »
Haha, from Kastys one down theyre all pretty funny

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"You always want something. You know in Tibet if they want something they give something away."

"That must be why they're such a dominant global power."

franith

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Headlines
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2004, 03:22:36 PM »
Focus group finds voters interested in jobs, education, health, free food



Jim Waley sets new PB of 2.04 on Richter scale while introducing Iraq story



Kerry OBrien nails politician with absurd hypothetical



Possible Bob McMullan sighting, unconfirmed at this stage





heh heh crean under ladder i like it boogieman


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Rhiannon

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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2004, 04:01:20 PM »
ahahahah to the Kerry OBrien one. Although I would have thought in the
political climate that Terry Jones would be the ABC journo of choice.


Brazillian customer loses hair, dignity
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whophd

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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2004, 04:36:05 PM »
Oh yeah thats a good idea ...



~ Mid-morning news presenter listens to guest, asks unprepared question



~ Lateline interview finishes without running out of time



~ National Press Club floor question not multi-barrelled, agenda laden



~ National Press Club guest speaker takes first question first





Hang on, some more ...



~ First-time voter not sure what the joke is about Malcolm Frasers pants



~ ALP unable to nail punchline on 8 Years of Hard Liberal message



~ Coalition planning next negative campaign: Mark "P"atham



~ Bob Brown finds new pride in surname irony



~ Polls indicate election will be one





CK.


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wexler perkins

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Headlines
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2004, 08:51:41 PM »
some pretty funny headlines there. anything with malcolm frasers trousers is worth reading. here are a couple of mine. may not be chaser friendly. far too many references to john denver.


Bob Dylan not fit to govern says Richard Alston


John Denver ghost plane spotted flying over Canberra


Ernie Sigley not on television again


Ossie Ostrich considers ballroom dancing TV comeback


The panel celebrates nth forgettable episode


Iran stockpiling Doctor Who DVD’s says Howard


Sensitive new age male student secretly downloads Paris Hilton sex video


Piers Ackerman denies owning captain beefheart cd


Andrew denton interviews ugly dave gray; viewers weep during emotional encounter


Falling Joys fall off ladder, Col Joy laughs at hilarious irony


Graham Blundell to write another Graham Kennedy book: ‘we were in Don’s Party together’ says TVs Alvin Purple.


Glen Robbins: ‘I am ready to win a gold logie’


CGI Eddie McGuire hosts 1969 moonlanding


George Lucas to add CGI ‘Gungan’ to Howard the Duck special edition


Viewer still confused over Mick Molloy’s digs at Steve Vizard in late show


Bob Ellis predicts Kim Beazley victory, still not joking


internet user posts headline ideas on chaser forums, foolishly thinks its his big break.


:eek:


 


 

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Rhiannon

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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2004, 09:46:04 PM »

Chaser Internet forum filled with Perverts, Teenagers, Chas

Condom ad on commercial station more offensive than entire Triple J
playlist

John Anderson refuses to love his neighbour, quite scared of Tony
Windsor

Irony of phrase Two Party Preferred not lost on National Party
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