Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[-Liv-]

"Tim Brooke-Taylor still unable to live down Goodies character"
"Diet pill just laxative"
"Car lover gets penis stuck in exhaust"
"You just missed a really funny sight gag"

[Everybody Loves Jaymond]

I can't remember any newsbar items although I did like the newsbar newsbar or whatever it was called.

[Invisible Friend.]

'Alan Rickman plays bad guy at parent teacher interview'
Or something like that, just for Alan Rickman.

[Chelsea.]

I liked the "Boy meets girl", "Boy stalks girl", "Girl freaks out", "Boy gets 5 years" one. There were more in there, I think there were about 7, I just cant remember them all.

[Animated]

"Parents play teenager's favourite ringtone at funeral". 

That's the only one I remember...I must really go and get the DVD one day...

[Something Pretentious]

I loved the newsbar. Half the time I missed the rest of the programme because I was laughing so hard at the funnies on it... Just as well I have the DVD.

"Sociologists identify new minority group for Eminem to vilify"
"Pretentious git takes up yachting"
"Unemployed metalworker seeks riveting job"
"Internet fridge sick of spam"

Okay I'll stop

[JayTheNerdKid]

Some of my favourites:

Undergraduate student pretends to understand postmodernism
American makes macho threat against Osama bin Laden
Non-student still finds use for sine button on calculator
Newsbar writer can't find non-preposition to end headline with
Snowman not looking forward to summer
Rich, guilt-ridden university student joins radical leftist group
"Whitening toothpaste whitens teeth" rumours exaggerated
9 out of 10 Australian cricketers will eat whatever they're paid to
Scientists discover non-sensible use for thermal underwear
Action hero makes witty, debonair comment before killing enemy henchman
Extensive research determines Ariel Sharon really hates being called "Shazza"
Teenager surprised when pimple cream purchase fails to net her a boyfriend
Couple who met on internet disappointed by each other in real life
Easy listening radio station reaches third hour without running Mariah Carey song
Sports drink bottler releases new slight variation on water
Doormat sick of being treated like a woman
Yawning epidemic devastates primary school speech day
Conspiracy theorist unable to put it into practice
Novelty apron becomes less funny immediately after purchase
Comprehensive search of end of rainbow fails to uncover pot of gold
Middle-aged woman convinces herself she's still a size 8
Soundcheck lasts longer than actual gig

And I could go on.

[anewday]

I liked the ones where the newsbar writer was having a go at Craig because he got more pay!
I don't remember all of them, but there was one like
'Craig Ruecassel is a stuck-up prick'
and then
'CNNNN happy to welcome new newsbar writer'
 

[need_to_pea]

My favourites where

"Tim Brooke-Taylor still unable to live down Goodies character"
" Boy stalks Girl"
" Girl gets Restraining Order"

and a cuople of others i cant remember.... oh well gives me a reason to watch it now!

[Toasty]

I remember this one when i read it above;

"Car lover gets penis stuck in exhaust" ( i was on the floor )

and also

"Snowman not looking forward to summer"

[Lord Biscuit©]

I remember this one when i read it above;

"Car lover gets penis stuck in exhaust" ( i was on the floor )

and also

"Snowman not looking forward to summer"

Resurrecting old threads might not be such a good idea, unless your aim is to piss people off, in which case, go right ahead.

[Toasty]

Soz Dude, I am new here and i just wanted to talk about the Topic

[Mez]

That's OK, newbie. 

It wasn't a newsbar on CNNNN, but it was good:

"Speed limit near schools reduced to 40 grams"

[Jealous]

I feel bad for laughing at that