Whoa hang on there, party dudes. Before we can have totally excellent party, we gotta a narley questions and answers session. So here are some totally X-TREME-ly pointless questions...uh, chapies.
Chapies? There's cream for that.
1. If elected, what will your party do to find the Allspark Cube before Megatron can get it?
Create & distribute so many brightspark cubes as we can, so that the stupid bastard will never find it!
(As a part of our
plan policy to confuse Megatron, Brightspark cubes will still be called 'Portable Classrooms'. -
This will help the Building industry! And Trucking! And people who make cladding & pre-fab kitchens & Toilets & stuff!
Megatron will never figure out the tax implications of this shit before we wipe all our hard-drives with the allspark cube & call in a consultant to really fuck up the records! )
We actually refer to this in our brochure's as 'part of our education policy'
2. Do you support banning trains for the island from Sodar from entering the country, in order to reduces the number gang related crimes caused by the rivale gangs of steam engines and diesel engines?
This worries me greatly, because if we let them all in, we'll just end up exacerbating global warming with a Sodar Stream of C02.
We'll back any "Clean coal" or "Nuclear options" if we can convince some one to back our party during the election, in return for further funding/grants/tax breaks/(undisclosed before election due to FOI problems) - No Names, No Packdrill! A Nod's as good as a wink to a blind man with video surveillance camera and enough money to make braille!
Our analists tell us there will never be a profit in windpower, as almost everyone gets unsubsidised wind! (except the Queen, of course, that goes without saying!)
So while there's no tax on wind itself, our policy is that you should at least be able to claim a tax deduction called a wind break.
Hear me out....
- As a farmer/land manager/bludger on a piece of dirt - it'd be un-Australian to not grow a wind break!
If nothing else, a wind break helps stop the smell of cowshit & good old blood & bone from drowning out the smell of your own farts!
- As someone who deals with customers, you have to ask yourself the question!
Do you know your customers well enought to be able to fart in front of them?
And are confident enough to know, that despite that,
they'll come back to you.....
Cause they know you're telling them the straight shit,
& not bullshit!
And If not, you better take a wind break!
And as far as solar energy is concerned, I reckon -
If we legalise nudity, then almost any dole-bludger will be able to claim a Government grant,
on the basis that they are -
'Testing the theory that almost any arsehole can lay on the beach and still choose to earn money and/or help the environment at the same time!'
This will help create a niche market for people who want to lay around in the sun all day, as they'll be able to sell their hides for cancer reasearch! Or shoe leather! Whatever....
We maybe able to extend the 451 Visa scam to a whole new level - Shhh!, I didn't say that! 
3. In the next Soul Caliber Game, ‘Soul Calibur 4,' The character Ivy’s bosom will get bigger while her top will get smaller when compared to ‘Soul Calibur 3.’ Would you say this is symbolic on how you plan on running the budget?
No, I'll just spend the money on Drugs & Alchohol! For everyone!
That way, everyone else will realise that the bits that hang over the top of a bra that's too small for the enclosed boobs, can actually make you feel a little seasick when you watch them too closely the morning after the night before.
I call those the Wibbly bits - They wobble, they almost jiggle, and they're all wrapped up with no place to go!
I hereby declare a wibble, is the part of the breast that still jiggles when contained in a bra that's not quite built for the job it's doing.
4. What is your party planing on doing about the ever increasing threat of Vikings?
Inviting the vikings to the party, what else?
I've heard they're great at getting a whole village in the sack!
That sounds like some good old Nordic 'happy time's' to me!
5. Will you support educational plan to fund students to allow them to raise the dead, so they can have them dance to the song ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson?
I'd rather we sent all students to surfer's for one week at the taxpayer's expense.
But for that week, they be forced to learn how to do the thriller dance from 3am, till about 9pm.
Nothing else - Just Dance class!
And then for the last two days of schoolies, we put on free grog in return for their performance.
In a certified toolie free-zone. The better they dance, the more grog they get given!
And this should all be broadcast live!
So by the start of the night, we'll all be watching tired young teens dancing around on our TV's pretending to be dead in a relatively co-ordinated manner - while begging for a beer, or a cooler (eeeww!)
but by the end of the night......it should be one of the funniest sights on the east coast!
Can you imagine 30'000 drunken teenagers, trying to do the thriller dance on a sea of vomit?
If that's not piss funny TV, I'm not head of channel 9! (oh... wait? I'm not, but.....)
And the toolies can stay home & get their rocks of on video without harming anyone
6. Any finally, do you get your own breakfast?
No, I can honestly say I've never understood it.
Why would all that yummy food allow me to eat it and just turn it into horrible smelling shit?
I've tried hard to understand from the foods'point of view, but can honestly say I've never really got it.
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atomictophat - Can I ask you a few?
1: Why did you ask us all this crap?
2: Did you think anyone was obliged to reply to your questions?
3: If they did, are you be willing to give a detailed public response in reply?
4: Do you think you could handle a lot of people taking the unmercifal piss out of your reply?
5: And defend your point of view by replying to questions humourously, and/or in/accurately, or in kind, according to current policy, regardless of evidence?
