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[Pinball Neil]

Fucker mocked my specs. 

[:-) Fred]

44 year old dad of teenagers here

Kids need bumps and bruises to learn and grow
Little hurts like words prepare them for big hurts

Bullies never win if you turn off the power
walk away is always the best option if life is not in danger

Humour is related to life experience, Individuals cannot always be understood by everybody

I do not undersstand French humour  at all not a bit  but I don't want it banned I just don't go there.

[Star Fish]

But...but... they look so good with your cold sores!

hmmm... maybe he meant he really did like them - after all, he didn't use sarcasm teal...

[Naf]

But...but... they look so good with your cold sores!

hmmm... maybe he meant he really did like them - after all, he didn't use sarcasm teal...

After days of lurking in the forum you'd think he would know what the sarcasm teal was.

[blue]

Hey Hothouse's dad 

(That's my standard greeting in newbie threads... why break with tradition now? )

I"m not sure I really want to get involved in this... but I'd hate for you to think that this forum is full of nasty people who just enjoy picking on little kids. 

It's fairly self evident that bullying is horrible, and I'm sure most people on here would agree with a large amount of what you've posted.

Generally I've found people on here to be nice, and intelligent, with a shared sense of humour.

The thing is, that the sense of humour we share is for things that tend to push boundaries and cross lines... and some people on here are definitely into things which others find shocking and distasteful.

Obviously this is one of those times where people have crossed the line trying to be funny and outdo each other. It's unfortunate that there was a real person with real feelings who received the brunt of the blow. I feel for hothouse, I really do. I remember being new here and it isn't easy if you're at all sensitive. That's why I like to welcome newbies when I can, so that they know that it's not all cranky posts and having people make fun of you the whole time... I like to let them know that if I can 'survive' on here, then pretty much anyone can...

I'm not trying to apologise for their behaviour, I'm just trying to give you a bit of context for the purpose of discussion... Urgh, I'm not doing well here, so I'd better leave it...

Seriously, many many people have been "abused" a lot before she did. Nobody necessarily means what they say.

That thread was a bit of a standout though in terms of intensity and duration of cranky posts.

It was a bit of a random thing too, because I'm not sure her intro was all that much different to a lot of others... I think it is important to note that it wasn't really much to do with her at all. I hope she didn't take it too personally.

*Waves to hothouse in case she is reading this* 

Here's the usual intro thread cake you missed out on;



House cake! 

EDIT: Aaand I've been trying to post this for ages... *sigh*

[Naf]

Blue, making a sad situation better

You're making the World a better place.

[Keridwen]

How old is your daughter, Abuse? I think I heard she was 15. I pity her, if at 15 she hasn't yet learned how to deal with bullies. Children are far, far more cruel than adults (just adults are better spoken!) If she hadn't been exposed to worse than that going through school, then she's either sheltered or lucky. Or one of the popular people.  

I get how parents see their kid getting abused and it fires something up in them. Completely understandable, however ( as Vivicide said) not worth the rigmarole, AND in banning people like Grooviechickie (who is always exceptionally nice to new members) and Zivko, whose involvement was so nondescript that it wasn't worth mentioning let alone banning. You have to understand why we are now mildly infuriated.

A bit more of blue's context she was aiming for. You must understand something else that came into it. There was a kind of joke happening on the forum at the time (which your daughter would have realised had she lurked a little as someone suggested is appropriate) regarding "templates" and what forum regulars so predictably do/say in response to a 'noob'. This was taking the piss equally out of newbies and regulars, and it was what grooviechickies message (which supposedly got her banned) was in regards to.

So, in the wise words of Dr. Phil.... why are you so hair triggered?

[:-) Fred]

well said keridwen

[depreciative jones]

Pertinax, the main culprit of the abuse mentioned, has been accused of insulting, harassing, humiliating and psychologically abusing your daughter. You took offence to this and took the steps you felt necessary to bring those responsible to bear. Fine. Your daughter was hurt, the abuse was unwarranted and you want to be a good Dad in her eyes. Your prerogative.
You have now further implied in this post that such forms of abuse - nay, any abuse - shouldn't be tolerated, either here or in real life - and this is the moment when I start to see a funny double standard in your reactions.

You're on the forum of The Chaser. The Chaser have, in their current show, insulted ( 'fining' people for stupid tattoos or idiotic shirts), harassed (consistently referring to Kevin Rudd as a 'smug twerp'), humiliated (implying, in rather graphic terms, that John Howard enjoys performing oral sex on Alexander Downer) and psychologically abused (waving a blood-stained Klu Klux Klan outfit at Pauline Hansen and asking her if it was the dress she wore when she slept with David Oldfield).
Now I ask you, is that form of abuse perfectly acceptable because there's a laugh track evident? Or is it acceptable because you're amongst the Chaser's cheer squad?

[Star Fish]

I"m not sure I really want to get involved in this... but I'd hate for you to think that this forum is full of nasty people who just enjoy picking on little kids. 

Ahhh, cheers blue, you said that better than I did

That thread was a bit of a standout though in terms of intensity and duration of cranky posts.

It was a bit of a random thing too, because I'm not sure her intro was all that much different to a lot of others... I think it is important to note that it wasn't really much to do with her at all. I hope she didn't take it too personally.

It was a bit random wasn't it? However, I don't expect that hothouse or her Dad will take an objective view of that, and perhaps that's right of them. But I agree blue, I think it was a response to inane intro threads in general, which Hothouse's wasn't particularly, in fact, nowhere near the worst. Perhaps it was a bit of a straw and camel's back kind of thing... tho that sounds like making excuses.... and yeah, I think the running "intro thread template" joke also had something to do with it...

[WithTheDawn]

I've changed my opinion on this situation.

My initial reaction was to bring the site down. We compromised.

Mmmm! Fashion Zombies, I wanted you banned.

Dude, Zivko, I know its you. Not funny man. Take the 2 week ban like a champ and stop making these damn joke accounts already.

[Erubadhriel]

I've changed my opinion on this situation.

Dude, Zivko, I know its you. Not funny man. Take the 2 week ban like a champ and stop making these damn joke accounts already.

I am fairly certain that this is not a joke.

[blue]

Oops, that was christmas cake...

Try this:

[Thaluikhain]

In case this isn't someone pulling our collective legs:

Hello to Hothouse's dad.

Yes, I agree that much of what was said to Hothouse was unwarranted.  If people had been commenting on anything she had happened to say, then fair enough, but they were mostly being insulting for the sake of it.

However, I don't see why you think it's appropriate for the parent of someone who feels picked on to get involved.  She could have reported it herself.  Seriously, does anyone else here get their parents involved when they are abused by someone on the net?  Is you daughter that sheltered?

Though, my main question is, how do you confuse posting about this now with a worthwhile thing to do?

Everyone involved got banned (without any warning I might add).  And hence aren't here.

All you are doing is losing sympathy for your daughter by causing a fuss on her behalf over something that everyone knows has already been dealt with.

[Lord Biscuit©]

Goodness me. You seem almost sane! No wonder you're not a regular here!

I'm sure you didn't come here for parenting tips, so I'm not offering any. Yak does feel she has to give tips to parents occasionally though - just hope she's not your daughters teacher 

There is a bit of the vitriolic type posts here, particularly by some longer term members. Usually these posts are not directed toward complete noobs however, so I was a bit suprised to read the hothouse intro thread & some of it's content. In fact, Dom has previously made it clear that such posts directed to new (people with less than some number of posts) members was unacceptable. It's seems some members have short memories.

The forum has seen a large influx of young (under 17 yr old) members during this year, probably due to The Chaser's success. Previously, members have had a pretty free rein. This has obviously changed, and some are not liking it much. However, someone ( I think it was gregor) made a new forum board for "freaky freaky fan posts", frequented mostly by the young-uns. Seemed to work ok. Also, due to the number of younger members, it would seem logical to avoid posted barbed posts in the intro threads. I can only assume alcohol was involved.

Interestingly, some of the banned members do have children - one even has a 15 yr old daughter! As you say, and as I have intimated to members occasionally, this forum is only here at the whim of The Chaser company, they make the participation rules, and we are guests. They have no obligations to members other than to enforce their own rules. If they wish to make it a friendly place for 15 year olds, then so be it. If they ever wanted the advice of members, then I'm sure they would ask. So far they haven't (that I am aware of)  .

So, as it is, I have no problem with Doms actions. He is certainly not an unreasonable chap (although gregor is a bit of a sad-sap). The punished members did break the rules and must surely have been expecting punitive action against them. I think one may have even got off a bit lightly.

Let's hope your daughter is not too embarrassed to take another crack at joining the forum. I'm sure she'll get the red-carpet treatment