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Islam

0 (0%)

Hindu

0 (0%)

Buddhist

0 (0%)

Christianity - Catholic

6 (13.3%)

Christianity - Anglican

2 (4.4%)

Christianity - Happy Clappers

1 (2.2%)

Christianity - Other

1 (2.2%)

Jehovah

0 (0%)

Mormon

0 (0%)

Seventh Day Adventist

1 (2.2%)

Wiccan

0 (0%)

Atheist

5 (11.1%)

Agnostic

14 (31.1%)

Pastafarian

2 (4.4%)

Other - tell us what you are, you wuss!

13 (28.9%)

Total Members Voted: 45

[.]

OK. I've had a bit of a rant about Hillsong and Catch the Fire, so I figured I'd start up a central thread for all of my (and your) religious ranting and tidbits.

I've also included a poll to get an idea of what belief systems people in the forum follow.

This thread isn't specifically meant to be serious or funny - just anything religion related!

To start it off, I'd like to share a story of a Reverend in the U.S. who was found dead in his home, wearing two wetsuits and a bunch of other 'rubber' items...

http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/7433.html

[bollocks]

i have a joke.


3 men die and go to heaven.
they all line up at the pearly gates, and st. peter beckons the first man forward.

'what religion are you?' asks st. peter, to which the man replies 'anglican'.
'right' says peter, 'room 41, down the hall on the left, be quiet as you go past room 8'.

the man is slightly confused by this, but follows the instruction.

the second man steps up and st. peter inquires as to his religion.
'jewish' replies the man, to which peter responds; 'room 12, down the hall on the right, be quiet as you go past room 8.'

the man looks puzzled, having heard the earlier exhcange between st. peter and the anglican, but shrugs and does as is told.

the final man approaches st. peter, and is asked which religion he subscribes to.
'islam' replies the man, and is given instructions of 'room 64, down the hall on the right, be quiet as you go past room 8'.

the muslim man cannot contain his curiosity and asks; 'why do you keep telling us to be quiet as we go past room 8?'

st. peter looks suprised for a moment, then shrugs and replies; 'oh the catholics are in there, and they think they're the only ones here'.

[.]

hahaah that's fairly cool 

[blue]

I voted agnostic, but that 'happy clappers' option was very tempting! 

Ah religion... I find it mildly fascinating as a spectator sport.

[Frazzy?]

I voted other,..
I don't think it really matters whether there is a 'god' or not, and it seems a bit fucking egotistical to think there's much chance of any religion being the 'right' one, the universe is a fucking big place, what makes us think we are capable of imagining its beginnings with what little we know...

[Chromefox]

What? No Scientology joke option?

[Invisible Friend.]

I belong to the cult of Andrew's hair.
We believe that the hair is the highest power and must make a trip across many lands to seek out this hair and touch it.

[Naf]

Christian swerving towards agnosticism. Agnosticism just fits my views.

[hammer]

Once again, I'm telling you

I AM GOD!

Argue with me at your peril....

[Truckarella]

I like the Quaker movement, but only ever seem to get around to practising Hedonism.

[hammer]

I like the Quaker movement, but only ever seem to get around to practising Hedonism.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but does that just mean sitting on an unbalanced washing machine in spin cylce leaves you seeking a higher plane of religious understanding?,
(ie: Quaking in your own Laundry)

Or are you just happy to call my name at that point?

Please understand, there are a lot of women on the planet, and a lot of washing machines.
Apparently the no of washing machines bears no direct correlation to the number of women who call my name during sex, but, as god, I can tell you, it's a bit distracting!

Honestly, the number of times I've been distracted from an important task, such as eeerrr, deciding When & where a drought should happen, only to be forced into diverting my attention, because one of my worshippers is devoutly calling my name -

ie: Oh God, Oh God, I'm about to come!

Well, What would you rather watch - Drought, or Porn?

As God, There's stuff I'm supposed to do, stuff I'd rather do, and stuff I have to leave to/or force on you mortals, 'cause otherwise you'd never learn from your own mistakes!

So here's a tip - straight from god!

If you want me to fix the drought, scream out your partner's name during sex, and stop distracting me!

It will not just improve your own sex life, but it will give me half a chance to figure out where the wet spots are supposed to be happening!

[Truckarella]

True Hammer, there are a lot of washing machine on the planet.  But mine can manage a full load.

[Pinball Neil]

True Hammer, there are a lot of washing machine on the planet.  But mine can manage a full load.

You shit in your washing machine?

[Thaluikhain]

Honestly, the number of times I've been distracted from an important task, such as eeerrr, deciding When & where a drought should happen, only to be forced into diverting my attention, because one of my worshippers is devoutly calling my name -

ie: Oh God, Oh God, I'm about to come!

Well, What would you rather watch - Drought, or Porn?

For an all-knowing entity you are a bit thick.  You are all-seeing, meaning you can watch both.

Anyway, I'm off to the bathroom...dodgy curry, goes right through you, you know...and you'll be watching that, you sick bastard.

[pseudonym]

Jedi.

At least, I was according to the census before last.