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[DiddlySquat]

1.   In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
(a) Lovemaking
(b) Screwing
(c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
(a)   Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
(b)   Your blood-test results
(c) Five tequila slammers

2.   You time your orgasm so that:
(a) Your partner climaxes first
(b) You both climax simultaneously
(c) You don't miss "Sport at 7.00"

3.   Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
(a) Healthy, creative love-play
(b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
(c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

4.   Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
(a) The best part of the experience
(b) The second best part of the experience
(c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
(a) No concern of yours
(b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
(c) A conservative estimate

5.   You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
(a) A myth
(b) An oxymoron
(c) A moron

6.   Foreplay is to sex as:
(a) Appetiser is to entree
(b) Priming is to painting
(c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

7. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
(a) "I hope we can still be friends."
(b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
(c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

8. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
(a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
(b) Is uptight and a waste of time
(c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Gents, post your scores and I'll post the analysis in a couple of days.

[WithTheDawn]

C looks pretty good all the way through.

[DiddlySquat]

C looks pretty good all the way through.

 

[Erubadhriel]

C looks pretty good all the way through.

you're a real charmer, aren't you?

[WithTheDawn]

So my copious amounts of lady friends constantly remind me.

[Azazel]

I'm all A's Diddles With Hands In Pockets With No Lining.

[a passing lunatic]

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
(a) No concern of yours
(b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
(c) A conservative estimate

That she's a fuckwit for using pounds.

[Azazel]

That she's a fuckwit for using pounds.

Should she have said, "Oh no, I've gained approximately 2240 grams."?

[a passing lunatic]

kilograms is the SI unit, but grams is fine. I can't see me having a relationship with somebody who requires me to divide by 2.2 each time she tells me a weight.

[:-) Fred]

All the A's sounds like a check list for my last relationship

But we are still friends (but then we always have been)

Any ladies around 40 looking for coffee and conversation and Live near Ipswich reading this?

Hang on this isn't RSVP is it

Damn my sarcasm engine is broken

[DiddlySquat]

Some nice responses there gentlemen ( * holds breath waiting for the inevitable feminist outburst  )

Here are the answers..............

If you answered 'A' more than 7 times: Check your pants to make sure you really are a man. (easy for those hole-in-the-pocket types  )

If you answered 'B' more than 7 times: Check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times: Give WTD a call and get on the piss!!

[hammer]

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times: Give WTD a call and get on the piss!!

He can expect a call anytime

[EbonyPebony]

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

(c) A conservative estimate

 

[Doctor Squash!]

Foreplay is to sex as a queue is to an amusement park ride

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Brilliant.