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[hammer]

Tasmanian lad asks his dad if he can borrow the car, "You'll have to suck my dick" was the reply.
"Last time I did that it tasted like shit" the lad says.
"Well your brother did borrow the car before you" came the reply.

Reminds me of the german lad who came out of the closet one day an announced to his mother that he was gay.

After mulling things over, she asks him

"Hmm, does that mean you put your thing into other mens bottoms, and they to you?"

"Ya Mutti, we do" - he says

"Hmm, does that mean you suck other mens things, unt they yours?"

"Ya Mutti, I do" - he replies

She mulls this information over quietly  for a moment, then grab a frypan and belts him on the head, shouting

"Don't you ever say my cooking tastes like shit again!"

[The Loner]

Reminds me of the german lad who came out of the closet one day an announced to his mother that he was gay.

After mulling things over, she asks him

"Hmm, does that mean you put your thing into other mens bottoms, and they to you?"

"Ya Mutti, we do" - he says

"Hmm, does that mean you suck other mens things, unt they yours?"

"Ya Mutti, I do" - he replies

She mulls this information over quietly  for a moment, then grab a frypan and belts him on the head, shouting

"Don't you ever say my cooking tastes like shit again!"

[dorme]

 

[unomomento]

grrrrooowl.......

did you really need to use 7 full stops? You know, due to the tragic effects of 'la nina' that there is currently a world shortage of fullstops. Scientists predict that in 15 years, the number of full stops found in the wild will be drastically reduced, shortly followed by various other types of punctuation. If this trend continues, the world will be left in an unintelligable stupor, with no real sentence structure or long term literary foundation.  Do you really wish to live in a world like that? i thought not.

[dorme]

grrrrooowl.......

did you really need to use 7 full stops? You know, due to the tragic effects of 'la nina' that there is currently a world shortage of fullstops. Scientists predict that in 15 years, the number of full stops found in the wild will be drastically reduced, shortly followed by various other types of punctuation. If this trend continues, the world will be left in an unintelligable stupor, with no real sentence structure or long term literary foundation.  Do you really wish to live in a world like that? i thought not.

 

what? are you going to tell me about the shortage of lol emoticons now?

[bollocks]

grrrrooowl.......

did you really need to use 7 full stops? You know, due to the tragic effects of 'la nina' that there is currently a world shortage of fullstops. Scientists predict that in 15 years, the number of full stops found in the wild will be drastically reduced, shortly followed by various other types of punctuation. If this trend continues, the world will be left in an unintelligable stupor, with no real sentence structure or long term literary foundation.  Do you really wish to live in a world like that? i thought not.

didn't help the cause here, did you mate?

an old joke?

why can't jim ride a bike?
'cause jim's a fish.

[dorme]

why can't jim ride a bike?
'cause jim's a fish.

 

[Pink Cup]

why can't jim ride a bike?
'cause jim's a fish.

why did bob fall off of his bike?
'cause someone threw a fridge at him.

[grooviechickie]

Woman comes home from work, telling her husband excitedly, "I just won the lottery! Quick, pack your bags."

"What should I pack for? Are we going on holiday to the beach or to the snow?"

"Neither. Just fuck off."

[Lord Biscuit©]

Woman comes home from work, telling her husband excitedly, "I just won the lottery! Quick, pack your bags."

"What should I pack for? Are we going on holiday to the beach or to the snow?"

"Neither. Just fuck off."

I thought the last line was...

"I don't care, just be gone by 10 o'clock!"

[grooviechickie]

I thought the last line was...

"I don't care, just be gone by 10 o'clock!"

I didn't hear that version. 

[Erubadhriel]

why couldn't the cat drink it's milk?
because it's face was nailed to the floor

whats brown and sticky?
a stick

[Thaluikhain]

I sense baby jokes coming on...

[dorme]

at least the fan girl noobs will do well then

[bollocks]

why did bob fall off of his bike?
'cause someone threw a fridge at him.

 

what do a grape and an elephant have in common?
they're both purple, except for one.

what's grey and yellow and VERY very dangerous?
shark infested custard.